9th November 2014

Excuse me while I screeeeeeeeem

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

That's better.

To explain, I've just been on a shopping trip with my poor old mum (and DG and Rosie).

Not my favourite thing to do and technically it went ok. However, as usual with mum it wasn't enough. She wanted coffee at a cafe, drinks at a pub, chips, etc etc . I know all she really wants is time. Our time. 

I feel I give a lot to her, despite 3 full on years of demand, but it can't be, won't be enough for her. And that makes me feel terrible. I'm in a no win situation with her. I'm not really looking for answers either as whatever can be done for her, probably has. I know I'm in the firing line and have to take it.

Having said that, I am able to just walk away, while she is unable to do virtually anything without someone's help along the way. 

Now the sun has made its first appearance of the day, rememberence Sunday where appropriately you give thought to those who have made the ultimate sufferance and sacrifice. I shall go out on my bike and think of those brave souls and tell myself how fortunate I really am

And maybe have a pint or two

Sunday 20th October 2014

After performing miracles in the kitchen, on strict instructions not to "do a roast", I have retired to the lounge for the 1st time all weekend.

It's been a tough few days. Mum has been quite difficult to manage. I had a request to meet with staff at the nursing home to discuss her behaviour. In her constant demand for attention and sympathy, she has taken to bouts of down right rudeness to some of the careers there. I too have become a target of rudeness and blame for her current condition in that she's telling anyone who will listen how awful I have been to her. I know it's all a cry for help/attention/sympathy but..... trying to get her to understand that it can be quite hurtfull has been very difficult. I have been there for her, every step of the way for the 3 years she has been a resident at St Nicks and I will know it will be down to me to carry on with that for the foreseable future - she is my mum after all. It's always at the back of my mind that, no matter how bitter and angry she gets, she is in an awful state of health and would do anything not to have to be in a nursing home.

Chin up old son.

October 13 2014

Every where you go, take the weather with you. September was noted for its dryness, but as soon as October kicked in its been pishing down.

Last post in August? 2 months have rumbled by. 

I have been overwhelmed by my work. Things just seem to get busier and busier. Not sure I whole heartedly  approve of that. if it was across the board and a fair spread then there'd be little to complain about, but it appears that my broad shoulders are being disproportionately weighed down. I guess the alternative would be to run out of things to measure and I'd be worrying about job security. Don't get me started on pay though ( I have written to Danny Alexander approx 20 times without reply)

Local highlights?  Shezza 40s weekend was wonderful as ever. The way the town goes for it always amazes me - highly recommended. Barn Cottage's harvest has seen a bounty of fruit. Still picking raspberries  and I am having a go at cider with the mass of apples  this year. September also saw the return of Marks band The Last Great Dreamers, in Camden. 

Rosie celebrated her birthday with a  film night. A modest little evening with a few of the girls from the junior school days. She has thoroughly enjoyed her start to high school life and looks forwards to getting in the taxi every morning. It is a big relief to us that she has settled so well. 

Jen is working her way into her last couple of terms of schooling as she prepares for her A levels and on to Uni this time next year. Her grades so far have been excellent and the world is her oyster. Not sure how she finds time to study with all her social activity and jobs she does.

DG is slowly but surely making her way up through the chain of command at her school. I'm sure it won't be too long before she'll be queen of all education in Norfolk. Or maybe not if it gets in the way of her running. It really is quite remarkable how many miles she gets through in a month.

And what about Mother? I'm going down the "being honest with her" route at the moment. I' m finding it harder to continually jump when she says jump. The 3-4 visits a week are tough. She says she understands that it must be difficult for me to be there for her all the while, then she reals off a list of requirements. Some of the medication she's on for pain relief knocks her sideways, very sleepy. We took her to our new beach hut on Friday. She loved it, but her insistence on tucking into a large portion of scampi and chips made her choke quite worryingly. The staff at her home are doing their best but  I just wish there was a way to make things so much better for her.

Could go on about Nodge romping away with the Championship (if it were true) and me smashing my PB at Shezza Parkrun (not at all true) but I'll save that for another post.

August 14 2014

Hissing of Summer Lawns? Hot August Night? Maybe not

A strange summer in Norfolk. Strange in that it feels like the end of an era. Perhaps every year is the end of something or other but this year? Bereavements and break-ups, good weather and bad. The girls growing so quickly and my role as "dad" becomes a wee bit redundant until meal times and lifts. Jen will be off to Uni this time next year, Rosie goes up to High School in 3 weeks. Time moves so fast - nights drawing in and I almost contemplated lighting a fire this evening.

Hoping for a return to some hot sunny weather before school starts up again. I booked today off in the hope that I/we could have at least one day on Wells Beach but a cool wet day brought little more than a kite flight, putting contest and shrimping.  

August 5th 2014

Jings

Nothing written/spoken to the blogg since March

We'll in truth there's been good cause for that.

April 2nd was the day my Dad died. An awfully sad time in my (our) lives. His decline over the last few days was rapid. Billy was at his bedside at the end and Graham and I spent a few hours with him the evening before. We could tell he was slipping away a day or so before but fully expected to have him with us for a while longer. As you can imagine, it's been very difficult for a Sue to come to terms with it all but she is holding up well now. 

One of my last memories of my time with him will be that, even in a dire state of sickness, he tapped out the Pakistani National Anthem when it was played at the start of a cricket match we were watching on TV. Maybe a parting gesture to the land of his birth.

I'll post more of the comings and goings of life in a small North Norfolk village since Spring sprung on another day, though to continue with the rather sad theme of this post, I am going to be at the funeral of our Valerie tomorrow. Debsie's Dads wife of 30+ years sadly lost her battle last week having managed to spend a week holidaying near us in Holt. To hear she had passed away so soon after seeing her at Langham Street Fair was a shock to us all. 

That's enough sad tales for 1 year. Hoping for happier times to write about soon

Jez

3rd March 2014

Well I am now 50 something.
Not sure how you are supposed to feel - older? grown-up? decrepit? To be honest, there's not a lot different to a few weeks ago. Nothing dramatically falls off, nothing suddenly stops working.
The weirdest thought I have is that I remember a few years back, when a friend retired on his 50th birthday, I thought I'd do exactly the same - he seemed old and ready for a life of leisurely luxury but I can't really imagine not getting up and "going" to work. I certainly don't have the sense of being too old to be doing what I do or (more importantly) simply couldn't afford to give it all up, for a few years anyhow.
Don't get me wrong, I'd far rather spend my days doing exactly what I want - I'm in the right place for that - but it would be daft to give up my job, only to have to go and do something else to help make ends meet. People I talk to on a day to day basis all tell me what a great job I have (and by and by that's true) but I always have to tell them that it's all right as long as I accept I will not be making the Times Rich List!
There may be something niggling away subconsciously that has made me more determined (well more determined in my not too ambitious way) to ramp up the fitness regime - or the less lazy regime, since my birthday. I am feeling particularly wary just now having done a good couple of runs and rides in the last few days. But with a stiff work out on the 5-a-side pitch every week, a tricky 5km run on a Saturday morning and a shiny new pair of wheels to help guide me towards July's 120 mile ride, I'm hoping to start feeling the benefit of all this activity. The pain v gain balancing act is very much favouring the pain side of things just now though.
And all this exercise makes a chap thirsty. Thanks to the generosity of all the lovely people that came to my birthday party, I am drinking my way towards the shallow end of my shed. I can reflect back on that evening with great happiness - an evening not to be forgotten. In some ways a rather unremarkable evening - not too drunken, not too loud or too long - but to have the house full of happy chitter chatter of friends old and new and family old and new - even having both parents there! - t'was a great way for me to mark the start of my 50th year.


Jez

Feb 11 2014

Oh dear
Norwich have  lost again.
Away to West Ham. A really bad result. Mr Hootun will be in a bit of a pickle now. The slide has been inevitable, slow, sad, avoidable, painful.
I've seen enough footy over the years to see the warning signs, though Norwich's predicament this year has been clear for months.
Never mind eh?

Jan 1st 2014

A new start? A blank canvas? A time for change?

Walked off a spot of fuzzy head this morning, contemplating 2014 and reminiscing 2013. Is there a need for newness at all? Got the usual wish list/resolutions of being more fit, less fat, leaner, meaner, keener - but there are lots of things I won't change, don't want to change or of course can't change. On the face of it, 2014 could be a very defining year for me. I will be 50 soon, which does seem to mean I've been around quite a long time - another reason to be a bit more contemplative. A bunch of silly, niggley injuries has scuppered quite a few plans for sporting/adventurous achievements, but I shall start prepping for our biannual 120 mile bike ride soon.

2014 may prove a difficult year for the old folks. Dad is still passing off his ongoing illness by always declaring himself to be "OK", and we all hope he is able to continue to enjoy his usual jaunts round Norfolk's finest eateries with the odd trip to Spain thrown in.
Mum has had a mixed Christmas. She has had a fair trott of visitors and spent a few hours at our house on the big day. However, the nursing home has let her down badly again with poor management - not enough staff as usual but above all, a broken lift meaning she has been largely confined to her room. We've had tears and anger and depression. And now she has a tricky chest infection, poor old girl.

After my early morning stroll up the lane, me and the Mrs had a more serious hearty walk at Sheringham, which coincided with the start of the heavy rain. That dampened any enthusiasm for me going to watch the traditional Comer New Years fireworks (which by all accounts were excellent) and opted for a feast of football including subaqua Luton beating Barnet to extend their lead in the Conference