November 29 2015

Crushed by the wheels of government

My shoulder injury continues to consume my thoughts and my time and my patience though as I write I am at a very important part of the story. 

I have been offered an operation to rectify things though that may not be till the end of Feb or maybe March or maybe not even then if the bed space gets critical and ops are pulled. The potential for this would mean not being able to do my job till late April - getting on for nine months since the injury happened on the playing fields of Gresham. How can this be? Well, in my mind it's simply a case of massive underfunding of a Public Health Service. I don't/can't blame the medics, doctors or nurses I've seen to date. Their hands are tied, their funding is negledgeable  for the tasks they are expected to perform and they are in an invidious position to offer anything better. 

This week I'm tasked to explore every possible avenue to expedite things. I've learnt to live with my incapacity rather well I think - to the point where, by day, I seem to be able to get on with day to day tasks, albeit in a spot of discomfort and not taking on anything too testing, but I still find the night time very uncomfortable. My fancy new fitness tracking device told me that in my sleep last night, I woke up 15 times. That can't be good.

While I've never been a renowned sleeper - I genuinely can't remember the last time I was still asleep past 7:30am - I am looking forwards to returning to comfortable nights sleeps again. 

There maybe some more positive outcome news in the next few days, but that's down to me and a little help from my friends. 

 Jez

Nov 16 2015

Interesting little chats with Rosie after the awful awful goings on in Paris on Friday. We've done religion, prospect of terrorists in London, prospects of terrorists landing on the beach in Sheringham and even all out WW3. I guess that, whoever is ultimately responsible for the cowardly attacks, is kind of hoping that such fears are being sewn in the minds of the western world. 

In truth I have no answers for Rosie, other than my genuine/foolish idea that everyone should get together for a game of cricket, have a nice cup of tea and have a chat about why we're not getting on so well. It's better than shooting innocent people or dropping bombs.

Not that I'd be on the cricket team just now. Hopefully I'll have some better news later this week about operations and the likely hood of actually going back to work.

Starting to get very frustrated about my inability to do things. I keep thinking that my days could be spent doing much more constructive "stuff", then I tweak my shoulder and realise most constructive things are out of the question. Eg - yesterday I got the leaf rake out to clear the front garden of next doors oak leaves and I simply can't do the job. Hardly the forefront of pushing the boundaries but it's damned annoying. I don't suppose my injury is any worse than it was in Aug but there's a cumulative lack of sleep and continual nagging pain that makes it feel like things have been getting slightly worse day by day.

Going to start getting the peloton together for next summers big ride in the next few days - that should give me a bit of a target to return to normal fitness!

November 3rd 2015

Sitting in the garden in relative warmth. 3:15, sun going. No one home except me.

In the quietest of all places, with still air, it's got that weird summer Sunday afternoon feel about the day. You can catch the odd word of a distant conversation, every bird song within a mile or so, chainsaws, sugar beet harvesters, chickens, the odd car and the occasional USAF fighter jet (oh and that wretched barking dog from Bolton)

It's a sound and a place I am becoming more and more familiar with. The ongoing saga of my dodgy arm, Armageddon, has given me these times, wether I like it or not. 

After being signed off by my GP on 1st October, I was expecting to have had things move on apace but I sit here in pretty much the same situation. The ultrasound scan in mid October did at least confirm that my injury was not very pleasant, the arm bone having slid up and through the tendons connecting arm to shoulder, leaving a gaping hole which will need surgical repair. Since then I have been chasing up an appointment with the appropriate consultant, news of which was only confirmed today. My doctor has declared me unfit for work for another month, pending my discussion with the surgeon later in November, with the likelihood of an operation sometime in December. I have no idea of waiting list times or convalescence times post op but it looks very much like I shall be spending many many more days at home waiting for things to improve.

I'm still having painfully painful short sleeps by night, leading to tired meandering walks around the local paths and roads by day. The constant numb pain felt in my upper arm is with me all day and while it isn't particularly overwhelming (till I try and reach for something or pick something up) it is a continual reminder that something ain't right.

There seems little hope of a return to work for me till the new year. There is so much I want to achieve next year already - lots of simple things above all else and that is keeping me focused. I hate these days where nothing has been achieved, other than maybe a nice walk. 

The worst thing about my work absence is the genuine feeling that I have dumped an unmanageable, unfair workload on my local colleagues. I kind of miss the discipline of setting daily targets and knocking jobs off. Many people have said I should enjoy this enforced break, but I'd far rather have been able to carry on as before. Not just for the work, but for the biking, fishing, swimming, tinkering and yes, even playing football.

Chin up old son