March 22 2016

Springtime in Norfolk. Lots to look forwards to (at last). Been back in the saddle for a few weeks now, long enough to relearn synicism about work (and moan about how much there is to do, how little I get paid, how rubbish some things are etc etc). I've never had a problem with hard work - or at least hitting targets and high demands. I play a juggling game with getting everything done without compromising home life. That usually means very early starts and late finishes but with plenty of me time in the middle. Work is particularly busy though I am not out of the dodgy shoulder woods yet. I am still under professional advice to "take things easy" but, to be fair, I am able to do most things now - with a few adjustments. I am back Parkrunning and have even started out on the bike again. That will ramp up with this weekend's hour change. March has been a continually cold month. With a predictably wet Easter holiday to come and go soon, I reckon I can start setting myself bigger targets for biking longer and further. Not that I am wishing time away. Really looking forwards to a long weekend at home with the girls. No proper football to watch and Jenny is working lots but it will be the 4 of us on our own for most of the time. Had a wonderful houseful last weekend with racing and rugby to the fore so it is important that I put the girls 1st for a while. Then there's the big build up to DGs London Marathon. Can't begin to tell everyone just how proud, amazed, impressed with how she has done as she trains towards the big day. I'll write more when she comes home with her well earned medal.

January 27 2016

Soon time to return to work

Since my last game of football, 11 August 2015 and subsequent spell on the bench, it's getting close to my little life getting back to near normality.

What with social/health/media commitments up till next Wednesday, today is (hopefully) the last time that Mrs H asks me what I plan to do with my day and all I can do is shrug my shoulders (good and bad) and tell her that I don't really know. 

I hate (hate? dislike intensely) wasting time. Being creative within the limitations imposed on me has been very difficult. There's so much I'd like to do, need to do, have to do and as my shoulder slowly recovers, I am more able to do, that any down time is, to me, an opportunity missed. 

I know that when I look back on the past 6 months I'll wonder what the heck I did with all this time away from work. Truth is, specially before Christmas and before the op, I was genuinely not feeling well enough to consider more constructive ways of filling my days. Lack of sleep, constant pain and some whacky pain relief led to little motivation and while I really enjoyed lengthy, slow walks along the coast and round the countryside closer to home, it was hardly "challenging". Now , as I build myself back up from the operation and with a renewed spring in my step, I can look forwards to more fulfilling days - albeit at the behest of my paymasters.

I'm kind of assuming I'll be given the green light to resume making lovely maps when I see my physio and doctor in the next few days. Recovery from surgery has gone well though I still gave quite restricted movement and very little strength in my right arm. I keep getting the sense of 3 steps forwards/2 steps back. I can run but I can't ride my bike, I can drive my car but I can't swim, I can scratch my nose but not the top of my head. 

Given a choice, it's not been the career break I would have chosen. I think I could quite happily fulfill my time given good health, just enough money and lovely Norfolk without ever having to work again, but then again, I guess everyone could do that.

December 16th 2015

Sitting in the car park of Rosie's netball club on a ridiculously warm December evening. I was thinking back to Dads n Lads camping in early September where the evening must have been near to freezing with a bitter wind blowing. It's currently 14* ! Let it snow?

I'm on the cusp of having my shoulder operated on. Not particularly looking forwards to that but looking forwards to getting better as we move into 2016. I've never had an op, never been anesthetised. I'm guessing I'll be feeling pretty groggy over the Christmas holiday but I really need to get my brain and my heart back in gear. I've not been sat at home in front of the telly since Aug 11th when I made that glorious save (fell over when the full back bumped into me). Lack of sleep and lack of right armery has been my downfall. There's hardly a footpath within a 10 mile radius of home that I haven't walk along but it's all down time till I can lace up my trainers again or plug in my GPS kit at work. Really looking forwards to reintroducing my bum to my bike saddle too.

It's been tricky looking forwards to Christmas too, what with a visit to hospital between now and then. I've always loved knocking up the festive feast for the family but it is out of my hands this year so I'll have to embrace it and enjoy someone else doing all the work for a change. Having Jenny home to help Ms G on the pots and pans will be great. Jen came back from Leeds just a couple of days ago but has thrown herself into work. Money is the motivation for that as Uni life has obviously put a massive dent in her bank balance.

Tomorrow marks my annual "shopping trip" to London where I meet up with top lads Simon and Richard. My oldest work buddies.  We've been scouring the streets of London every year for 20+ Christmases and it always starts and ends in a pub. Fortunately all the presents have been bought, wrapped and placed under the tree already so I can wallow in beer all day!

It'll be my 1st Christmas since mum passed away. Above anyone I know, mum loved Christmas. She used to love it when we'd decend on her for lunch and she loved doing the cards, the shopping, the carols, the telly and decorating the place. Her last Christmas was awful for her and all of us. It was so sad she didn't get one last hurrah, but in truth she'd been too unwell to enjoy things as much for a number of years. I shall go and spend some time on the cliffs looking out to sea, where we laid some of her ashes, on Christmas morning and probably shed a tear or two.

Seasons greetings to the world, specially Jim and the Sawtry girls. Jim usually reads my whafflings here, which I mostly write in lieu of being bothered to write a diary and he's good enough to give me gentle positive nudges when things look a bit bleaker from my side of the keyboard.

2016, I'm coming to get you

November 29 2015

Crushed by the wheels of government

My shoulder injury continues to consume my thoughts and my time and my patience though as I write I am at a very important part of the story. 

I have been offered an operation to rectify things though that may not be till the end of Feb or maybe March or maybe not even then if the bed space gets critical and ops are pulled. The potential for this would mean not being able to do my job till late April - getting on for nine months since the injury happened on the playing fields of Gresham. How can this be? Well, in my mind it's simply a case of massive underfunding of a Public Health Service. I don't/can't blame the medics, doctors or nurses I've seen to date. Their hands are tied, their funding is negledgeable  for the tasks they are expected to perform and they are in an invidious position to offer anything better. 

This week I'm tasked to explore every possible avenue to expedite things. I've learnt to live with my incapacity rather well I think - to the point where, by day, I seem to be able to get on with day to day tasks, albeit in a spot of discomfort and not taking on anything too testing, but I still find the night time very uncomfortable. My fancy new fitness tracking device told me that in my sleep last night, I woke up 15 times. That can't be good.

While I've never been a renowned sleeper - I genuinely can't remember the last time I was still asleep past 7:30am - I am looking forwards to returning to comfortable nights sleeps again. 

There maybe some more positive outcome news in the next few days, but that's down to me and a little help from my friends. 

 Jez

Nov 16 2015

Interesting little chats with Rosie after the awful awful goings on in Paris on Friday. We've done religion, prospect of terrorists in London, prospects of terrorists landing on the beach in Sheringham and even all out WW3. I guess that, whoever is ultimately responsible for the cowardly attacks, is kind of hoping that such fears are being sewn in the minds of the western world. 

In truth I have no answers for Rosie, other than my genuine/foolish idea that everyone should get together for a game of cricket, have a nice cup of tea and have a chat about why we're not getting on so well. It's better than shooting innocent people or dropping bombs.

Not that I'd be on the cricket team just now. Hopefully I'll have some better news later this week about operations and the likely hood of actually going back to work.

Starting to get very frustrated about my inability to do things. I keep thinking that my days could be spent doing much more constructive "stuff", then I tweak my shoulder and realise most constructive things are out of the question. Eg - yesterday I got the leaf rake out to clear the front garden of next doors oak leaves and I simply can't do the job. Hardly the forefront of pushing the boundaries but it's damned annoying. I don't suppose my injury is any worse than it was in Aug but there's a cumulative lack of sleep and continual nagging pain that makes it feel like things have been getting slightly worse day by day.

Going to start getting the peloton together for next summers big ride in the next few days - that should give me a bit of a target to return to normal fitness!

November 3rd 2015

Sitting in the garden in relative warmth. 3:15, sun going. No one home except me.

In the quietest of all places, with still air, it's got that weird summer Sunday afternoon feel about the day. You can catch the odd word of a distant conversation, every bird song within a mile or so, chainsaws, sugar beet harvesters, chickens, the odd car and the occasional USAF fighter jet (oh and that wretched barking dog from Bolton)

It's a sound and a place I am becoming more and more familiar with. The ongoing saga of my dodgy arm, Armageddon, has given me these times, wether I like it or not. 

After being signed off by my GP on 1st October, I was expecting to have had things move on apace but I sit here in pretty much the same situation. The ultrasound scan in mid October did at least confirm that my injury was not very pleasant, the arm bone having slid up and through the tendons connecting arm to shoulder, leaving a gaping hole which will need surgical repair. Since then I have been chasing up an appointment with the appropriate consultant, news of which was only confirmed today. My doctor has declared me unfit for work for another month, pending my discussion with the surgeon later in November, with the likelihood of an operation sometime in December. I have no idea of waiting list times or convalescence times post op but it looks very much like I shall be spending many many more days at home waiting for things to improve.

I'm still having painfully painful short sleeps by night, leading to tired meandering walks around the local paths and roads by day. The constant numb pain felt in my upper arm is with me all day and while it isn't particularly overwhelming (till I try and reach for something or pick something up) it is a continual reminder that something ain't right.

There seems little hope of a return to work for me till the new year. There is so much I want to achieve next year already - lots of simple things above all else and that is keeping me focused. I hate these days where nothing has been achieved, other than maybe a nice walk. 

The worst thing about my work absence is the genuine feeling that I have dumped an unmanageable, unfair workload on my local colleagues. I kind of miss the discipline of setting daily targets and knocking jobs off. Many people have said I should enjoy this enforced break, but I'd far rather have been able to carry on as before. Not just for the work, but for the biking, fishing, swimming, tinkering and yes, even playing football.

Chin up old son

6th October 2015. Did I mention my poorly arm?

It's been about 9 weeks now since a rather innocuous bump on the football pitch left me heading to hospital because my arm felt rather painful.

An X-ray a or two and 4 1/2 hrs later I was on my way back home feeling a bit sorry for myself but pleased it was "just a bump" but warned that it could take 6 weeks to recover as it was likely to be damaged tendons. 

So I took a few days off - I was on leave from work anyhow so no problem. After a week I was still struggling so I trundled off to the docs for a further assessment. She signed me off for two weeks but was happy for me to do "light duties" i.e. sitting at home tinkering with a mouse and keyboard, pouring over planning applications and aerial photographs.  All well and good but, by eck my arm was still really achy. 

Another trip to the surgery for a consultation and it was decided that I'd need an MRI or an ultrasound scan to see what was really going on. But don't even think about working at all for the next two weeks!

I was hoping to be scanned within a few days of my doctor firing off the request but I am still waiting. 

On my most recent trip to the Aldborough  Practice, my doc decides that enough is enough. She has diagnosed a rotator cuff tendon injury, signed me off work for the whole of October, tried to get an early appointment with a specialist and confirmed a scan date for next week.

I'm guessing that, hopefully, the scan will confirm her diagnosis and I will get to see a surgeon before too long. My arm  constantly feels as if it has just taken a hefty thump. By night I really struggle to get comfy and spend a few hours each evening/early morning listening to rubbish radio and communing with the wider world through the power of the internet. I've never spent more time away from work in my adult life. I can't help but feel guilty as I am not ill in the truest sense and my injury seemed so innocuous, but then I get a shooting pain across my shoulder and stifle a yelp.

I guess I can call it a career break but that is of little comfort to my soreness and more importantly of no use to the boys and girls having to cover my work. The work is being done without question and without judgement which is brilliant to know. It's just the way I'd have done it in a reverse situation - take up the baton etc. 

Trouble is, I have no idea when I will be back on the team.  I've been spending my days (the weather has been fantastic to date) walking the highways and byways of North Norfolk and trying (and failing) to catch up on missed sleep. I've not been able to go running, biking, fishing or swimming  - all my favourite things to do when the weather is good enough. Can't see me playing football again for a long long time either.

I'm expecting the next few weeks to be a mixture of highs and lows but above all I want things sorted so as I can have a good nights sleep again.